I didn't know if he'd feel the same way about Rebecca's background, but I knew that I had to give the family something so that they wouldn't kill me.
I asked Josh, a relative of mine - who never gets involved with these kinds of things - what he thought.
I can only hope and pray that he never stops doing for her what he did to win her.
(This article originally appeared in the Jewish Press on June 3rd 2009) About 10 years ago, I went to Israel for a brief visit and met up with the Kuper family, old friends I hadn't seen for many years. The grandmother was a jolly, but forceful sort of woman, she turned to me with a serious look on her face and gravely said, "You better find Rebecca a husband." She grabbed my arm with her long, thin fingers - her grip was strong," You're going to find her a man, right? Two days to get the job done, or I would lose the respect of close friends. I had a 30-year-old second cousin, Daniel, who was still single. He won't agree." (Almost all Israeli citizens are drafted into the military - men join for three years, women for two - but many Orthodox Jews are not required to serve, and it's especially rare for Orthodox women to join.) But what did Josh know? Not long after, I picked up the phone and placed a very important call "Hey Daniel, it's Ziva Kramer. " There was a long silence before he finally responded. I took a deep breath and got down to business, "The truth is that I'm calling to ask you if you're available for a date with a girl." For several long seconds, he didn't say a word. " I said interrupting his laughter, "What do you say? With her sensitive and unique approach she devoted her life to help as many people as she can, becoming one of the most popular leaders on the New York City singles circuit.
I won't go out with a girl who went to the army." Josh was right. But Daniel's response meant that I couldn't just give up, and give Josh the satisfaction of knowing that he was right and I was wrong. "Okay," I said simply, "then find someone who will go out with her. I've never matched anyone up " "There's a first time for everything." "But I don't even know her! "I'll try to find someone for her." I felt really good with this turn of events, because inside I had a sense that he wasn't the right match for Rebecca.As soon as they saw me, they pounced, as if I was an angel who had come to redeem them. I was confident that Rebecca would be interested in him because he was a kind, smart, tall, Orthodox and handsome guy. The silence was finally broken by the sound of Daniel laughing uncontrollably. The grandparents charged into the living room while we were chatting. She had patted me on my back and told me to enjoy myself; but I didn't have time to enjoy myself. He's too conservative to go out with a woman who went to the army. " But now he was teasing me, saying, "So you know everything?! I remembered what it felt like when Rebecca's grandmother seized my arm, and I decided that I was going to show them all how it's done. " "Two days." "You call me two days before you're flying out?! I didn't have any more patience for polite chitchat. " But I didn't have time to play - I was on a mission, and I was going to accomplish it. She makes her audience laugh and cry, leaving them with a newfound clarity. When Daniel's friend David went to pick Rebecca up for their date, I was settled into my airplane seat, heading back to the United States. Then I just smile to them and say, "We can only try our best." Ziva has been a matchmaker, dating coach and spiritual advisor for professional singles in New York City for many years. It took Daniel only an hour and half to call me back and say three magical words: "I found someone." I didn't know Daniel's guy, and Daniel didn't know Rebecca, but I felt good that we had done as much as we could have under the circumstances. " I just tell them this story to show them that there is no formula for matchmaking because there is a Divine force at work.