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We have encountered one another via an internet dating service established for the sole purpose of enabling married people to commit adultery.
It may sound like an unpleasant niche website for a handful of amoral people to whom wedding vows never meant very much.
Reading it on my laptop in the aptly named Cafe Affaire in central London, I consider what she really wants: a no-strings-attached sexual relationship.
What I don't know is how her husband will feel about it. Aside from the little matter of her marital status, she also believes I have a wife, but she doesn't care.
It was only when I was on vacation with limited access and resorted to exchanging long emails with a friend who was similarly inclined that I realized that what I wanted was penpals.
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This resulted in one conversation with a male who ended up wanting sex, even though my profile clearly said I'm straight and looking for friends. I've asked questions and reported failures dozens of times and they have never once contacted me to resolve a problem or answer a question.
On top of that, I came to the app today, and my account was hacked! I had a load of conversations that I had no part in, with random people around the world. If you block a member on here they are right back on the next day.